Full Awakening - Proof of the pudding.

Time of event: on the night of 6th to 7th of March 2008.

I looked at the clock before going to bed. It was 11.40pm. I checked the playlist on my computer media player and had 3 meditation mp3s that made up a total of one and a half hours. Then I plopped myself up comfortably on my pillow and started relaxing each part of my body, and soon enough I was in a trance. On my way home that evening, I had been having buzzing third eye chakra and my intuition told me something special was about to happen tonight...

It all started with crispy clean 3D images of random places and persons. The images usually last for 2-3 seconds in our notion of time. One instance was a psychedelic dome with shifting geometric shapes. Egyptian motifs and faces of pharaohs and mummy coffins were pretty common as well.

Then the energy started moving. The most noticeable one was my throat chakra. I never had it activated before. Then I started paying attention to my otherchakras and each one started bursting open. And I could very clearly make out all the different colours as well. I also felt other parts of my body activating energy points, like my legs, hands, etc. All around outside my body there was also a wave of aerodynamic energy that flowed strongly and continuously.

The next thing, I felt something like a 5 or 6 pronged clamp getting a hold of my face and head and drilling into it. At that point, the imagery shifted to lizard and snake like beings, and I could n't help but think of reptilian alien beings. The probing got progressively more powerful. It was accompanied by a very strong sinewy energy that seemed to move throughout my face, nose, eye balls and brain, without so much of a regard for my face structure. It felt as though my bones, veins, and muscles were being crushed. My teeth sank into each other. The right side of my face felt like shifting to the left and vice-versa. I also felt my head rotate in both directions very very slowly, as if going against a some gooey or tar like material.

As the imagery flowed and got more and more intense, I realised I had gotten to a place with a somewhat dark energy imprint. Feelings of fear came knocking, but I was still aware enough to tell myself that there was nothing to fear, that thiswas something I had been prepared for and had been waiting for. And I managed to convince myself to just observe everything and to let go and just be part of this experience. Next was the feeling of taking a fall, sinking to some place. After a while, I emerged into a place of light and beauty.

I then felt tremendous energy from underneath me, that seemed to lift me up. I would have liked to have a camera in my room to observe my body, quite clearly to me at this point, I felt that I was levitating. And I was using an inordinate amount of energy to propel myself up, while feeling the full force of gravity trying to press me back down. And then, I felt that I got up. Initially, it felt like my astral double standing up. After that came the moment of pure joy, as I saw my body in the purest light ever. The awareness at this point was of my real, immortal self! In Kundalini Yoga, we call it SAT NAM.

This was truly a blissful moment, of sheer ecstasy to become aware of our true self. It did feel like a very special moment, at which point I realised I was most probably having an out of body experience, and I started thinking of leaping into the air. But something was wrong. I could not let go of feeling my physical body, and then it felt that my physical body was also coming for the ride. Next, I found myself standing on my bed, being gently rocked by the energy inside of me and trying to find me bearings. It was really weird and funny, as my consciousness switched back and forth between the physical reality and the dimension I found myself in. A few times, I felt like throwing myself back and hit the wall. After that, I decided to lie back down before I fell of my bed or something.

In the next set of imagery, I had a phase of erotic images, love making that involved my own self with some other entities, as well as what looked like other very powerful beings frolicking among each other. I had a vision of a person that I know in real life. I was trying to reach out and talk to her, but she was running away, and she looked like she was trapped in fear. I wanted to try to calm her down but I could not reach her, and then she disappeared.

My body felt like jello at that point, and I could feel my body parts stretching and rotating of their own accord. The bone crushing sensation came back as well. It lasted for a while more, before I snapped out, and back into physical awareness. The first feeling that came onto me was one of sheer joy and ecstasy. It validated in vivid details what had been up till now mostly intuition and inner knowing, saved for a few minor glimpses. I then tried to go back to sleep into this feeling of euphoria. But this was just an intermission. Before going back to sleep, I noticed the mp3s had stopped playing. While I felt I had only been having this experience for about 30 minutes, more than one and a half hours had passed.

With my open naked eyes, I could see the auric field around my body, and felt truly beautiful. My body then got into a spontaneous V-Shape with my sit bone as the point of pivot. People familiar with yoga will recognise this as the boat pose. With the feelings of joy still fresh, I started laughing, felt my cheeks stretch out like forever, and then my vision became engulfed into some kind of sphere, and what I saw did not look at all like my room. I thought, that was really cool, as I was having the experience both with closed and now open eyes.

After a short while in that state, I lay back down on my bed, and went for another round of imagery and vibrating sensations, although they were a bit less intense than the first time. Before drifting off to sleep, I realised that my life could never be the same again. True enough, the next day, I was bathed in the joy of the experience for the entire day. Things fell in place nicely at work, we finished a job we had been struggling with. Most importantly, personal stuffs that had been bothering me lately seemed ever so trivial.

Now, I am left wondering about the meaning of that experience, and what I do about it. Life in the physical world compared to what I experienced all of a sudden seems so boring...