Mental Portal

The Last Post

2010-03-01T16:14:00.002+08:00

This will be the last post for this blog. I will keep the articles as they are, maybe change the Table of Contents to better reflect the contents rather than just through chronological order. The energy reflected here could eventually be likened to a bush on the wayside on the journey. You can find thorns or roses, depending on what you are looking for. For now, I would like to say till next time, good-bye and good luck!

Enneagram Personality Test (Advanced)

2010-02-02T16:59:00.000+08:00

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	41%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|	25%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	71%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	71%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	47%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	81%

Your main type is 9
Your variant is social

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Personality Test (Simple)

2010-02-02T16:58:00.000+08:00

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%

Your main type is 5
Your variant is social

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Counter @ 666 and Mayan Magix link.

2009-11-25T12:33:00.001+08:00

This is just for fun. I managed to catch the counter running at 666. The 2012 article was added on Mayan Majix yesterday. Thanks to Mike Shore. :)

2012

2009-11-23T18:36:00.004+08:00

As of this writing, the movie 2012 just came out in the theatres. I have not personally seen it. Maybe I will see it, I don't really know yet. From what I have seen in the trailers, the whole interpretation about the Mayan Calendar with respect to 2012 is that destruction runs amok on planet earth with massive tidal waves, volcanic eruptions, earth quakes and so on. The pathological fascination of the human species with its own destruction is probably worth an entire book by itself, by in this discussion, I would like to throw in my own two cents for all that it is worth about what 2012 could be all about. As much as I tried to avoid it, I could not help but throw in some of my own metaphysical interpretations about the universe. If that has whetted your appetite, please read on.

I think it is pretty safe to speculate that most folks who have seen the movie, but have never heard of the date of 21st December 2012 before would either dismiss it as "just another Hollywood blockbuster disaster movie" or - even if they are loathe to admit it - experience real bouts of bouts of fear of a "what if" scenario. There is no doubt that actually wondering if the earth were to go through destruction on such a massive scale is bound to make our stomach take a few nasty churns. Regardless of the reaction to it, and of the opinions and reviews about the movie, it is undeniable that the whole subject has come under the radar of the mass consciousness. For those of you who subscribe to the notion that what is in the minds of the people help to a great extent shape the reality around us, that is not a trivial matter at all. So, will the images of random destruction of the planet help turn things into a self-fulfilling prophecy?

The subject of 2012 came to my attention a few years ago. At first I was bewildered by the fact that a single date could hold great significance for an entire planet and the species living on it. According to various scholars out there who have researched the subject, 2012 together with the end of the Mayan calendar do actually matter a great deal. If you want to know about how fascinated our current consciousness is with a certain topic, there is an easy way to find out. Enter some keywords into an Internet search engine and you will get an idea. I have resisted checking and writing a number here, and it is probably increasing by the minute.It is fairly easy to verify that the end of times scenario - notice here I used the expression "end of times" rather than the "end of the world". The reason for this will become apparent as this discussion proceeds. - is discussed in a lot of ancient texts. The bible speaks about the rapture, the Koran talks about the Qiyamat, the Hindu texts describes the Kali Yuga, the last of the stages that the world goes through as a period of great darkness.

What the doom and gloom crowd fails to mention though is that after the destruction comes a new dawn, a Golden Age, where peace and love reigns supreme on the planet. One of the work I am most drawn to on the subject of the Mayan Calendar (not 2012) is that of Carl Johan Calleman who explains that creation can be subdivided into nine levels and that each level represents a specific level of consciousness. From the beginning, we had the cellular consciousness, then more complex creations came about which banded into tribes. Those tribes then gained increasing knowledge and from individualistic mindset, we moved into a planetary mindset and eventually a galactic and then universal perspective. With the instantaneous repercussions that we experience now worldwide when something happens, we are undeniably in a planetery level of consciousness. According to Calleman, the Galactic level started in 1999, but from what I think we can observe in what is happening in the world, we are not
quite at the evidential galatic or universal level yet. At least not for the majority of earthlings.

He goes on further to explain that each level is divided into 13 sections of 7 days and 6 nights. Maybe it is a good idea to remind ourselves that in the Bible, it is mentioned that God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th (Genesis 1:1-2:4). While I will draw quite a bit from this work, I will not go into the details here, so it might be a good idea to familiarize yourself with this before reading further. You can follow this link for a description of the nine levels of consciousness: Pyramid of consciousness

What I like about Calleman's work is that once he has laid out the significance of each level of creation and the themes of the 13 days and nights within each one of them, he then relates those to actual recorded historical events. One of the possible arguments against his theory is that he could have potentially reversed engineered the chronology of history to then fit his theory around it. But even if we then discount his discovery, it would seriously put a dent into the notion that life is just a series of random events that unfolds and that we have very little control over. Instead what we have here are patterns. In mathematical terms, the probability that life would proceed according to a set of pattern would be astronomically low. To sidetrack a little bit here, we can also look at the origins of life, the interaction of protein and DNA molecules that created life. Even then, given the huge number of permutations, I am not sure what to think of the theory that nature got it right through chance alone.

Of course, we know that traditional science argues that things just happened - by chance. So even in that light, it could be argued that history just happened. The patterns are nothing but pure chance. I don't know about you, but it just tickles me that something of such a low probability would actually happen - I am inspired to just hit the casino one of these days!

Now to come back to Calleman's theory and 2012, the first thing to take note of is that in his discussion, the Mayan calendar does not end in 2012, but rather, in October of 2011. I know what you are thinking - now, I am getting really confused! And I would dearly empathise with you. But let me play devil's advocate for a bit. What if his calculations were a bit off? When would be THE real date then? When we all get to party, and go to heaven - or to hell for that matter? I would like at this point to highlight something about the date of 21st December 2012. The reason why this date is thought to hold special significance is that we have a galactic event with the sun moving towards the center of the galaxy.

So, what we have here is that something of major significance happens at some point, maybe over a period of time, maybe in one fell swoop, no one knows for sure just yet. All we have to rely on is some scholars word on something that could possibly happen on the near horizon. It seems that one Mayan elder by the name of Don Alejandro, seeing all the rumors and hearsay about the Mayan Calendar has decided to come out and speak out about the calendar that his people devised millenniums ago. From what I understand, he says that the shift happens over a period of time. He actually gives a window between which the sun goes into hiding over a few days, and when it re-appears, things change on earth. Maybe what follows is the Golden Age that is commonly spoken about.

So, then we come to a point where with so much information that seemingly contradict each other, we are bound to ask ourselves - what is the real deal? My advice to you at this point is not to take my word for it. By all means, go and do your own research. The internet is replete with all sorts of information and speculation about the subject from the doom and gloom to the hopeful, to the indifferent. But expect to be swarmed with an inordinate amount of information some of which will make you scratch your head in wonder, Before we go forward, let us look at a summary of the various scenarios that are being put out there.

- It is the end of the world as we know it. The poles are likely to shift causing massive tsunamis, earth quakes, tremendous volcanic activity and so on. I recently came across the work of a gentleman by the name of Patrick Gerryl who paints such a massively dark and bleak scenario, I wonder how he manages to sleep at night and stay calm with such knowledge in hand. In his findings, he talks about an inordinate amount of solar and energetic activity from the cosmos hitting us like a - insert name of futuristic cosmic vehicle traveling at a gazillion times the speed of light - obviously causing destruction on the scale of which we have never seen.

What happens next is a Mad Max apocalyptic world where we are all "bombed" back to stone age and have to resort to our primordial survival instincts to make a living.

- It is the end of "times" as we know it. I see a difference in the end of "times" and the end of the world. I see end of times as meaning something of a deep paradigm shift, where life can never be the same again, and things cannot be just business as usual. It is the proverbial golden age where everything just flips and we have peace on earth, and love reigns everywhere. There have even been speculation that we develop superhuman abilities and learn to communicate telepathically and do such random things as being able to fly. We take a trip to the cosmic genetic engineering center and get our DNA upgraded.

- We make contact. Either in the year 2012 itself or some time before or right after, intelligent life out there finally makes itself known and we are saved from all disasters by the federation of light and welcome into the galactic community.

- The New World Order unveils itself and takes over. For those of you not familiar with the NWO, there are conspiracy theories that there is a secret government plotting to take over the entire world, reduce the global population by a few billions, setup a one-world government with its own global currency, global army and whatever else global that could be associated with a government. The remaining earth population is turned into modern day slaves where we lose our sovereignty - if we had any to begin with - and is forced to worship their earthly lords for the rest of their life.

- The rapture scenario unfolds. The good folks are saved and go to heaven while the world gets destroyed. All non-believers, whoever they are supposed to be go to hell or something.

- Nothing will happen. 2012 will fizzle just like Y2K, and on the 1st of January 2013, most people will wake up with a massive hangover from the previous night's party, and everyone will just laugh about how silly all that 2012 business really were, and life will just go on as per normal.

If some of what I have written about sound laughable to you, Google is your friend, if you are willing to invest some time to research into this phenomenon. Now, after laying down all of this background information, I can finally give away my two cents. Before I go into any further details, I would like to stress a few key points about what I am going to say.

First of all, this is not THE Truth. But it is MY Truth. It is how I understand things to be unfolding based on my interpretation of reality, on my perception about what has happened in the past and where we are headed in the future. It is based on a model where we live in a universe of infinite possibilities, time lines and ways of looking at how events unfold.

This model is beyond the scope of this discussion, but for now this is what I would like to convey. It is also a model that I have incorporated into my daily life and which has evolved over years of intense research, self introspection, questioning and actual peak experiences. You are welcome to adopt what I write about as your own, but I strongly suggest instead that you go and do your own research and come to your own conclusions. My model is not the only one out there. There are countless other folks who have written on the same subject. There are some similarities, some differences, but it does not really matter.

What matters is that whatever you resonate with are in complete alignment with your own spiritual perspective and needs. You will know this by feeling how it vibrates within your heart. Eventually, once you cross another threshold, you may find that it does not work for you anymore, and that you need another perspective. That is perfectly okay, and I personally feel is how things are meant to happen. I will stop here before I digress too much. This subject of coexistence of various points of views and perspectives is due consideration on its own. Now, on to the meat on the bone.

Whether we like it or not, whether we agree with it or not, empirical evidence in the world shows that we are living in very unusual times. We are still reeling from an economic crisis that has wiped out a substantial chunk off the virtual wealth that make up electronic accounts in the world of finance. Far from looking at the fundamental systemic problems to resolve our plight, politicians around the world have been throwing more money at the problem without due consideration as to what the results might bring in the future. I am not an economic expert, but common sense tells me that printing more and more money can only exacerbate inflationary tendencies.

People have been continuously losing jobs, even if we are looking at some form of economic recovery depending on which media cool-aid you happen to dowse yourself in. We are on the verge of a nuclear stand-off between Iran and the traditional world powers that have been engaged in armed conflict for a very long time. There are more and more cases of fraud and corruption that have been coming to the surface, often involving gargantuan sums that are worth mini economies. We are seeing more and more shootings where innocent bystanders are losing their lives to people who just seem to go mental and "lose it".

We are seeing increasing polarization in various places. The election of a black president in the United States has probably never polarized the population so much - liberals versus conservatives, democrats versus republicans, left versus right and so on. Religious fundamentalism has also been on the rise, this being a result of reactionary tendencies to protect the tribes from what appear to be external threats popping up from everywhere. We are also seeing increasing seismic and geological activities accounting for floods and earth quakes everywhere around the world. In a way, we could argue that we are already living a doom and gloom 2012 scenario on a mini-scale.

If you are not yet aware of what the mainstream media does not really cover, a quick trip to Google and YouTube will also show that more and more people have been showing up with prophecies that range from economic, social to spiritual. If I were to come up with some predictions of my own, I see more and more extreme cases of people really thinking that Armageddon is about to happen and cause more problems for themselves and others. The chaos looks set to increase substantially before tapering off. It is a bit like the whole planet is blowing off steam at the moment.

So, what is really happening? Are we really witnessing the collapse of civilization as we know it? My take on this is very simple. I simply feel that the time for the correction of all the dysfunctions that have been perpetuated in the world has finally come. In Carl Calleman's model, he explains how this fit into the cycle of the 9 heavens and 6 days and nights. If we follow such a model, it all seems to have been something preplanned - by who? This question alone is bound to raise such passion and heated discussion because we now start to tread metaphysical and theological taboo grounds. I can immediately see people waving flags of Creationism versus Intelligent Design. Still, let us take a deep breath and dive in.

I happen to think there is some validity to Calleman's model. However, I would like to stress some caveats. Because it appears that there is preplanned model of creation, it would be easy to jump to the conclusion that what we are dealing with is also predestination. I feel that if we find ourselves jumping to that conclusion, it is just the reaction from the way our brain is wired, based on a polarized model, where we see opposing perspectives as being mutually exclusive. What I propose instead is that what we are dealing with is the unfolding of the resolution of our free willed creations with a series of pre-planned energetic release patterns from the universal evolutionary forces, that is the forces that are responsible for the evolution of life within this universe - this last statement alone may get you to question my sanity, but I am perfectly fine with that.

Let me explain in more details. In Calleman's model, we see creation unfolding through 9 levels of creation that are further subdivided into 7 days and 6 nights. In is important to mention here that the divisions we are referring to is time. Hence, based on a mathematical formula, we have a start point and an end point. The start point being the time at which the universe was created, which is around 14 to 16 billion years ago. When we are dealing with such huge numbers, 1 or 2 billion hardly make a difference to our brain. So, let us view this unfolding of time as being a long tube that we can visualize at once if we were to be standing outside of it.

We then further divide the tube into 9 sections, with each section getting shorter as we proceed chronologically along the tube. Let us then portray openings in the tube where some kind of channels are inserted to allow the release of energetic patterns into the tube - the tube being our physical universe that we live in. All the entities in the tube are physical in nature, walk around in physical vehicles, that is our bodies and have complete free will as to what they want to do. Of course, within this tube we have certain rules such as gravity, electromagnetic forces, such that jumping off a building might not work really well for someone.

Now, let us come back to our energetic openings. At various times along the tube, different types of energies are infiltrated in the tube. While we are indeed susceptible to the influence of these energies, our free will remains intact. Which means that how we react to the influences is entirely up to us. It is possible to argue here that if we are being influenced, we don't really have free will, but I would counter-argue that for someone watching a commercial about a gorgeous looking ice-cream who then feels impelled to go and buy one of those ice-creams he just saw on TV, no one is putting a gun to his or her head and compel that person to go and buy ice cream. That person does so out of his or her own free will, out of choice.

So, I would argue that the same thing happens in our energies-influenced cosmic tube. From here on, I will not talk about who is the puppet master that pulls strings behind the scene, but I will talk about the energies themselves. When the universe was just formed, and it required certain gas and whatever compounds to create galaxies and planets, the energetic support was blown through our pipes inside the tube, and hence it was possible for galaxies, solar systems and planets to form. When it became time to create life on earth, once again the required elements were pumped through the tube and molecules aggregated together to create life.

In the beginning, very simple cellular forms could be created, such as planktons, amoeba, bacteria and so on. But as life got better, it knew how to create more complex creatures, so that eventually we now have the human being with its super complex brain and an immune system that knows exactly how to maintain itself, with each cell programmed to do exactly what it is supposed to do to keep the physical vehicle alive and functioning optimally. Heck, our brain even got to the point where it knows which chemicals to create so that we could reproduce, or defend ourselves physically when we are in danger. The combination of such functions that we take for granted as we go through the hustle and bustle of daily life is truly staggering. I don't know about you, but thinking about things in this way truly makes me humble, and excited and fascinated all at the same time.

Based on historical and fossil records evidence of the evolution of the human species, we can easily reach the conclusion that our species stopped evolving at some point. So, according to our tube model, further influx of energies that would influence our physical body stopped at some point. But that does not mean that the energies stopped altogether. Instead, we saw a drive for humans to organize themselves into tribes and civilizations, build wonders of the world, go to the moon, build the internet, Web 2.0, Facebook and Twitter and find myriad ways to enjoy themselves and have fun, while at the same time wage wars, kill, pillage, rape, murder, steal, lie, cheat, commit genocides, destroy ecosystems, pollute on a massive scale, and live in opulence while others died of hunger, detonate the atomic bomb, fly airplanes in skyscrapers, steal elections, start phony wars, torture prisoners, fleece the common people, and so on. I am pretty sure you can add to this already long list.

But anyway, going back to our tube, I postulate that as the energies were coming in through the tube, the creatures within it used their own free will to engage in whatever experiences they saw fit for themselves. It is fairly easy to see that not all experiences were pleasant, and thus, not all the energies were having a positive influence. I shall go into the subject of the negative energies in another discourse, but the evolutionary drive went on unabated to the point where we find ourselves today. From this then, I conclude that the ultimate aim of the energetic tube was to evolve physical life as we know it, as well as the consciousness that inhabits the physical vehicle. I know this will probably be a point of contention, and there will be a lot of disagreements, but that is all right.

Traditional science speculates that consciousness comes from the brain. However, according to experiences reported by people during near-death situations and who find themselves out of their body for some reason, or even those who get into peak experiences as a result of ingesting psychedelics suggest that we are more than just our physical bodies, and that we possess other states of consciousness other than that which drives our bodies, which I call the ego consciousness. Why science refuses to investigate anything else that is not physical is beyond me, but if you want proof for yourself, the answers are really out there, if you would care to look for them.

I stated earlier that evidence points to the fact that we have not been evolving physically for quite some time. But, it is fairly obvious that we have been evolving in other ways. I am going to speculate that the first humans might have been so primitive that all they could think of was their own survival and may even have turned on each other, like in a jungle. But this changed eventually when they learned to cooperate with each other, and form groups to hunt for food. While some might get killed during the hunt, a larger number of the group stood better chances of surviving. Hence the interests of the group took precedence. People started to learn how to live in tribes and to ensure the survival of the species. Later, they became more aware of the distinctions between traits like gender, race, color, and so on. Eventually, customs and belief systems were developed. And humans coupled their free will with their new found knowledge to find both freedom and to oppress.

At some point, we found that some civilizations started to develop logic and reason, and from there new areas of knowledge and science came forward. At the same time, we saw certain people develop concepts like justice, fairness and equality.

One question that is bound to crop up is the following. We have argued that the primary purpose of the energetic tube is the evolution of the physical vehicle and the level of consciousness. So, how is it possible that we still have all the dysfunctions that can be easily observed in societies. How is it that unfortunately, some of the species stopped thinking of the common good and positioned themselves such as to gain power and dominate others instead of working for the common good? To explain this, I go back to the levels of creation within the tube. Each level goes through its own cycles. So that there appears to be cycles within cycles. Each cycle seems to go through a period of being born, being nurtured, goes through some maturation, expands and then somehow take a wrong turn. Again, the concept of the 6 days and 7 nights do a pretty good job at explaining this.

Hence we see civilizations flourish and then decay. Europe has had the dark ages and then the renaissance. Islam went through an enlightened period of science, literature and the arts before being taken over by fundamentalism. The United States arose out of a revolution to lead the world in most areas of human intellect, but is now floundering in many aspects and is seeing other nations play catch up or has already been overtaken. As we slowly drive towards a conclusion, I would also like to point out that each evolutionary cycle seems to take less and less time. While it took billions of years for the universe, galaxies and planets to form, it took millions of years for species to evolve. It took hundreds of years for scientific discovery to move forward, a few decades for technological advancement to move from primitive level to something to wow people. We have seen the internet take a mere 20 years to become indispensable in the lives of people living in the developed world, in business, education, and entertainment. Thanks to Facebook and Twitter, blogging and so on, events happen in real time within matters of seconds.

Therefore, I posit that we are moving towards a conclusion of some sort, a wrapping up of the current period before we can move to a new age. As with the completion of any major project, we have some cleaning up to do. If indeed we are dealing with a project of cosmic proportions, I would imagine we have quite a bit of cleaning up to do. Hence, everything is now coming up to the surface. All the points of view, the prophecies, the visions, all the nasty stuffs that we have created over the cweycles are now coming up to be cleaned, healed and recycled.

This article has gone on for longer than I thought so I am going to wrap up with what does all of this imply for you and I as a human being, and touch upon where the next level of consciousness is going to land. There are many more subjects to be touched upon though, and I will hopefully delve into all of this into subsequent articles.

With all the differing predictions in our field of vision, certainly only one can come true. While that is certainly the case, I would like to point out here that our perceptions of reality are not necessarily all aligned. What I mean by this is what appears as chaos to some may not be felt the same way by others. So, while we do share a consensus reality, we do not have to experience it the same way. I will share one anecdote about myself. I used to feel pretty depressed seeing all the nasty things on TV and the news everyday. One day, I just decided to switch off my image box and never went back. I felt a lot better after that.

Does that mean that I decided to de-sensitize myself? No, that is not accurate. I simply chose a different way of experiencing my reality. I know there are a lot of things going on in the world, but there are certain experiences I choose to not be a part of. And this will be the greatest challenge for all of us in the coming years. As more and more intense energies hit us from everywhere, we are going to need skills to help us navigate through those. I may be preaching to the choir when I talk about non-physical energies to some people, but if you are fairly skeptical about all this, picture how you would feel in a polluted city, driving through a jammed traffic, your car air-con is not working, it is hot outside, all the drivers are getting annoyed, honking every now and then, even if that is not going to solve anything. Now, think of a serene place near a waterfall, you are breathing really clean air, you can hear the birds sing, you are sharing this moment with some people that you really love and care about, and you don't have a care in the world. Then, make a choice of where you would prefer to be at.

So, I see this as being a choice we are all going to have to make over the coming years. If you choose peace and serenity, you might have some work to do within yourself before you can shed any excess baggage, and reach that point of peace within. But because things have been accelerating, once you set your intention and decide to move forward, things go pretty quickly from that point. I do not know what will really happen in 2012. Personally, I do not see any major turning point event that is too obvious. I see the changes happening gradually as they have been for some time. I see more and more of our traditional institutions in the field of government, finance, education, media, entertainment slowly decay with new models and new paradigms taking their place.

The next big leap and evolutionary move happens in our consciousness. At the moment, we are in a space of planetary thought. We have come to realize that when one economy flounders, it affects everyone else in the world. A butterfly that flaps its wings in America causes a storm in China, that sort of thing. But even then, we are mostly focused on ourselves and our own survival. The end level of planetary consciousness is when we realize that we are truly connected, and are all one and from the same source. When barriers stemming from race, gender, color, economic class, all fall to the wayside, and we nurture values based on unity, when we start to think holographically instead of hierarchically. We then need to all go through a stage where simple beliefs and faiths no longer satisfy us and we have a thirst of knowing really how we are, where we come from and what we are supposed to be doing here.

I personally see these values be the foundation upon which the paradigm shift can happen, and we can finally take our next evolutionary leap. These will be probably then lay the foundation for the galactic and universal consciousness to take hold. Where we again become explorers and go out into space to sincerely look for intelligent life like ourselves in this massively huge universe in which our planet is but a tiny microscopic speck. When we see the pillars of society such as parental upbringing, education, science, and so on reflect those values, we would know that this threshold has been crossed. I also see a merge of science, religion, philosophy, theology and so on, grouped under something that could be called the Science of Consciousness. It is truly time to remove the blinders that we have worn for so long and to see things as they are, and to take our rightful place in the universe.

Until then, we still have a lot of work to do. So, what is 2012? It is ultimately your choice. It will be what you make of it. You get to choose your experience. I personally would not wait for some event to fall out from the sky. The time is happening now, and there has never been a better time to align ourselves with our own higher self, spiritual truth and and universal energies. In the meantime, take good care of yourself, be safe and thank you for reading! And don't forget to smell the roses once in a while...

My Ayahuasca Journey

2009-10-11T03:30:00.007+08:00

A few months before the whole thing, I had been doing a whole lot of reading on ayahuasca ceremonies. My very first experience that led me to the undeniable proof that there is more to life than just the 5 senses we rely on in our day to day life happened as a result of a weed trip accentuated with brain pattern altering audio. I experimented a little bit for a while, as well as with LSD, but felt that I had reached a glass ceiling that I could not cross. For a fairly long time, I stayed completely sober and relied solely on meditation and audio to achieve altered states of consciousness.

As synchronicity would have it, I was led to read about the traditional rituals undergone by shamans in the amazon jungle and around South America. I then came across churches that had adopted the sacred plants as part of their "works". I will come again later to why such ceremonies are called "works" because this is exactly how it felt at times. So, I was planning to go journeying in South America over the next year to partake of the sacred vine. But then I read about the Santo Daime church in Amsterdam that did exactly that. After some legal wrangling at the beginning of the decade, they were permitted to use the ayahuasca tea as a healing component as part of their ceremonies.

I booked my flight to Amsterdam, contacted the chuch people and arranged to be there on one of the days that they were having a ritual. There are different types of rituals. "Cura" is meant more for working on cleansing and healing, "concentracao" is more meditative in nature. There are also other ceremonies which involved just singing and dancing. I arranged for a concentration session which I thought would fit pretty nicely for me, as I very much enjoy meditation.

I would like to point out at this point that these ceremonies are treated very very seriously by the people who carry them out. As such, there are various recommendations regarding preparing the body for the experience, namely sexual abstinence 3 days before and after the ritual, avoidance of alcohol, eating certain types of food before, and so on. I wondered about those before the ceremony, but I found out why during the actual thing. The Ayahuasca spirit is very demanding on the body, and as I will explain later, I did get to the point where I was so exhausted I had the feeling I could never stand up again to get out of the place.

A few days before, I found out I would not have to travel out of Amsterdam as the location was just on the outskirts of the city centre. A metro ride would eventually take me there. So, on the actual day I went there, and got to a place where it seems that regular workshops were being held. I saw one group in a room doing some breathing exercises and thought this was the group, but it turned out I was wrong. I quickly apologised for my disturbance and looked for another room but again it was just a completely different session. I tried calling the lady - thank goodness I kept her phone number - but could not reach her. I waited for a bit, called again and still no luck. After a few minutes, I decided maybe it was n't meant to be, so I thought I should probably leave.

On the way back after 50 metres or so, I decided to try my luck one last time, and lo and behold, this time I managed to get through. Apparently, the people were not here yet as they were running late. So, I walked back and true enough, people started trickling in. I introduced myself to some of the people, helped carry some stuffs into the room, and towards the end, there were easily about 40-50 people there.

In the middle of the room, a table was arranged into a star of David, with the chairs arranged accordingly. Men and women sat on separate sides, the reason probably being to balance out the energy. So, we lined up to give our donation, filled up a form (for the newbies) and were told to wait a little bit as we would be given some instructions. I changed into my white clothes and chatted with one of the younger guys in the crowd who turned out to be a musician that was planning on going travelling for some time. He had a very positive vibe, and at the end we wished each other good luck without exchanging contact.

Then, one lady drew us into a corner and told us how the ceremony would proceed. Since we were new, we did not have to sing the hymns, but we were told to just go along with them. There would also be people around the congregation to guide and help whoever needed assistance. The Santa Maria is also smoked during the ceremony and we were told that we did not have to if the experience was too intense. The guy I mentioned about asked about what if he had body shakings, which he previously experienced during earlier sessions with ayahuasca. I also experienced these during my earlier trips. I will talk more about these later on. The lady told us to try not to disrupt anyone and to keep our experience very personal, and in fact to avoid sharing what we saw with everyone else. That sounded good to me.

When everything was ready, the ceremony was about to begin. One of the guys who was there to provide assistance came to introduce himself. His name was Riijk. The ceremony started with the blessing of the assistance and the chanting of some hymns. At some point, the ayahuasca tea was consecrated and we started to line up for our first serving. I had read a lot about how horrible the mixture was supposed to taste, but to my surprise it was not that bad at all. It was just a little bit bitter, but nothing worse than tasting the worse medicine I've ever had to take. Then we sat down and the chanting continued.

One thing about the whole event was that it became very difficult to gauge the passing of time, so I will refrain from trying to estimate how much time passed in between the various points I remember of the night. But ultimately, the whole thing lasted for about 5 hours, and it definitely seemed longer than that to me. At about the point when the mixture was probably starting to make itself felt, one of the group's initiates, sitting within the inner circle close to the table in the middle stood up and blessed the space, saying something along the lines that this space is now consecrated and only entities and spirits aligned with God could enter and share in the ceremony. I cannot recall the exact wording, but I remember thinking it was quite poetic and beautiful. The main themes of the verse talked about Love, Truth and Justice. I thought we were off to a good start.

At that point, the chantings stopped for a while, and the first session of concentration (meditation) started. For me, the effects started kicking in, and I was in the familiar space of light headedness and mild visual distortions. As the same effects lasted for a while, I thought this is not so bad. I was still very much aware of my surrounding. In the meantime, some folks had started to puke around me. One of the guys sitting just in front stood up and went to the back. He was probably assisted by one of the guys looking after the ceremony. I could also hear some people walking to the toilet and there were some gut wrenching sounds of vomiting around.

On my part, I remembered to tell myself to keep breathing slowly. The thoughts of purging my stomachs kept coming to my mind, but I was n't too focused on them. I was conscious enough to tell myself that I had made this all the way to then, and I was going to enjoy and have a good experience and made a little prayer that I was open to meet whoever was out there that wanted to make contact and that was aligned with the pure source of love that abounds in the universe. That must have been a key of some sort. For a short while, my head felt clear and I found myself in some kind of void. Then the fireworks started.

The first visions I had involved swirling 3D tubes made up of very precise and clear geometric patterns. They made a gentle swishing sounds as they just flowed and in the background, there were more well-defined intricate geometric objects. Then I felt a block. Things stopped flowing for a bit. I did a little bit of internal scanning and found that I had reached the same point that I had experienced on a trip on mushrooms the day before. This block itself could be the subject matter for an entire essay, but I will touch a little bit on what insights I gained from those.

In my previous trip, I had come in touch with some of my familiar guides, and I mentally felt certain blocks that prevented me from going deeper within my explorations. When I asked about those, I was told they are the protection mechanism built within the left brain to prevent a frying of the circuits. What I gathered was that when we open up to the field of consciousness, our right brain in inherently skilled in doing that, connecting and interfacing with the field. But for some reason, our left brain is not. It is purely marerial and logic in nature and needs a little bit of training and nurturing to allow the experience to happen.

Now, one question would be, do we really need the left brain to enable the experience. The answer is that is most definitely. It goes like this. While the right brain is really expert at communicating with the field, once it learns how to do that, the left brain is still needed to do the translation so that our body's 5 senses can understand what is going on, and then ground whatever information is coming through into the physical body. But before the left brain can do that, it has to be taught how to. The problem of course is due to our conditioning. The left brain has been trained to reject whatever experience that it cannot fit within its frames of reference.

I will divert a little bit here to touch upon 2 phenomenons. There are folks who are innately gifted with being able to connect to spirit. In fact, all babies and children do. But as the conditioning steps in, the left brain is molded in such a way that such experiences are deemed out of step with itself, so in the future, whenever the right brain transmits those information, they are rejected out of hand. This explains why so many people reject innate gifts as they struggle to grapple with their experiences. This also explains why so-called skeptics will reject whatever does not fall into their versions of reality even in the face of evidence. I will stop here before I diverge too much.

The reason for the left brain's defense mechanisms is for the protection of the body. I feel that over the ages, this has been the primary purpose for such a thing, as the body was learning to grow up and go around in the material world. After a certain degree of maturation, it is then possible to build the bridge between the right and left brain and allow experiences of a more esoteric nature to happen. The night before, my guides told me that was as far as I was allowed to go, hence the blocks. They told me that if I feel that I am ready, I can ask for the protection to be removed, but that it has to come from that logical part of the left brain. In a sense, the left guy has to decide for itself whether it is willing to open up. I guess there is some sense in there in that it is being brought to a position of responsibility and accountability, and hence more openness. It is a bit like instructing a child to be responsible for certain things.

When I asked my guides whether they felt I am ready, I was told that because of free will, they could not tell me and that I had to decide for myself, that I had to own this. I was a little bit disappointed the night before but I did not force it. Back to our current unfolding. I did a little bit of scanning to convince myself that I was ready to step into the unknown. I went through any fears that I could have and made mental checks. A bit like a pilot would be running through a safety checklist, and decided that I was ready. It was time for take-off. I made sure that it was a genuine decision and that I was not deluding myself in any way. And finally, I did not forget to ask for assistance from my guides and whichever entity that was out there that was willing to guide me. All I had to do was ask.

The psychedelic landscape was getting more complicated and colorful, and I felt like in a space shuttle being given a ride to the edges of space. Words just fail me here. I felt static and tears came to my eyes. And then things changed abruptly. I began to feel my body start to shake uncontrollably. This is something I experienced regularly in previous trips with weed, and I was starting to feel very cold. It was not feeling so good on the body all of a sudden. I mentally tried to slow the trip but to no avail, and all I could do was to clench my hands and legs. My legs were crossed, which I was advised not to do before the ceremony as it prevented a smooth flow of the energy in the body. One of the assistant came over to me and gently nudged me.

He asked me if I could control the body movements and I said no. But then he gently urged me not to cross my leg and to let the energy flow. He had a knowing grin on his face that said, I know where you are going and I have been there too. Just relax and let it happen. It is going to be all good. So, I uncrossed my leg, sat straight and slowed down my breathing. It felt a lot better after that and the trip across the awesome landscape resumed. I got to a point where things slowed down considerably and an undescribable sense of peace washed over me. Something or someone was "streaming" into my mental field of vision. It felt like a serpentine being. It then asked for my permission to come closer, which I gave. It circled around my body for a while, and all I could feel was a very very deep sense of love and warmth.

This marks the beginning of the most ecstatic spiritual experience I have ever had. The being then told me that it had been waiting for me for so long. I was puzzled, and wondered why. Then I got the vision of a female human lover, waiting in her amazing castle for the return of her beloved. She told me that she had prepared that time especially for me, and had been waiting since the day I separated from the source for me to come back and make that connection. I thought of the first obvious question.

- Are you God?

- Well yea, you could say that, but then what is your definition of God? You have to be a little careful there for I know too well how the human mind has been fed with all sorts of weird notions about God.

And then comes a kicker.

- It does not really matter, whether I am God or not. What matters is that you are. What matters is that you have finally come home after a long and yes, very tortuous journey.

I was very disturbed at that point. The thought came to me as to whether this could be the Ayahuasca spirit that I had read about, or maybe a playful trickster that was here just to play around. She caught that thought and laughed.

- You are really funny. It is ok if you think of me in this way, for if only you could remember. I am so happy today that you have come back. It is not often that we get to meet like that.

And then something really bizarre happened. She took the form of a playful teenage girl making herself up, to look pretty, dressed in really sexy dresses. I was quite stunned and had a hard time figuring this one out. And then she laughed some more.

- You think that God only resides in the heavens, don't you? Or that I have a specific shape, that I fulfil certain holy stereotypes or something.

- Uh, yea... kind of...

- Silly you. For you today, I want to look beautiful. I want you to feel the infinite love that I have for you. I want you to know that I long for your return, that we would be finally reunited. I'll let you in on a little secret. Most humans think that God only resides in the church, mosque or synagogue or in the heavens. They put me in a nice little corner. They go to the church and pray to me and yet, when they go back to their homes and families, they forget about me, when I am everywhere. We set up this whole material world so that we can all experience it and have a good time. Can't God have a little good time too?

You were shocked to see me a teenage little girl, well the proverbial little girl that's dressing up, acting silly and all girly with her friends, that is a manifestation of the God energy too. I live and breathe in each and every one of you. Even those that you would call evil. They are my creations too, my children - and yours too, for your information! Some may have gotten lost, have taken a little bit of a detour, but eventually you will all come back home, no exception.

- But do you mean, you are... The God? You know? The Big Guy, or Woman that did it all?

- Poor thing, I can understand your confusion. I am the God that created it all, but so are you! If you want to be a little picky about this, let's say that I am that part of you from whence you separated to become an individuated soul, with a consciousness of your own. But by extension that makes you God too! I am that part of you that stayed behind, working with your guides to help you while you ventured into the unknowns of the 3D. You see when a creation is individuated from the source of all that is, the first thing it knows is that it is God. This is who I am, and this is who you knew yourself to be, but once you came through the veil, you forgot.

It is the same with all souls in the universe out there. For all, there are different aspects of the same One consciousness. You see, not all of the people that are gathered into this room right now are having the same nice experience as you. Some are facing demons, fears, which are all their own creations. But others like you are meeting God. And the God they are meeting, it is I, all the same. In that way, you are not so special, haha... But to me, right now, you are special. As I told you, I have been waiting for you all this while. I can feel that your brain is having a hard time wrapping itself around this idea but in due time you will understand.

Of course, I had a hard time. But deep down, I had never felt so happy and truly there was one all-pervasive essence - that of HOME! Unmistakable and fully recognizable. There was a real belief inside that I had been here before.

- Yes, of course you have been here before. You come here every night, in your dreams. But you leave a piece of you behind. It is that part of you that is associated with the logical side of you and which I am getting to meet for the first time, and which is what makes me so happy, for from now on, it'll be easier to make myself known to you all the time.

- But I have experienced such states before, while tripping. I may not have met you, but I know I go into heavenly realms. But I forget about it all after a while.

- This time, I promise you will remember, if you will it to, Insha' Allah. God willing. You willing! (chuckle). That was an intended pun, by the way!

It felt so surreal. God, as a teenage girl, God with a sense of humour, poking fun at me?

- But if you are the manifestation of the essence in every thing, why do some people act with mischief, not only to others, but to themselves?

- Redundancy, my dear. You cannot harm others. You can only harm yourself. Mull over that for a bit.

- Yes, I know about that. The thing that we are all one, and that when we hurt someone else, we are hurting others in the process.

- True, but you have not really completely figured out why. And now you are wondering, how can God be hurt?

- Well, yea!

- In a way, the hurt is only felt within the body. I mean, I feel sadness for you. Could you imagine if we were to allow the atrocities and pain that have come through the ages to pervade through to all dimensions? The whole of creation has been planned so meticulously. You live your life as an engineer. If you could really see the blueprint, you would be completely amazed, and applaud.

But we all did, we all planned it. It was not just some guy that sat in a room and came up with this plan. And you know what, for all of the brilliance of it, there are still things that we are finding out as we go along, especially on earth. My, my, earth... One jewel among all of our jewels. Gaia... your mother. And the human body... If only you knew, one truly magnificent and splendid creation. One day, you will find out!

Tonight my dear, is our night. The heavens is open to you. We can go anywhere you want, you can ask me anything you feel like. We will make sure you bring everything back with you!

At some point, I noticed we were near a very tall structure that had a rotating pillar in the center with other protruding arms. At regular intervals, were spherical cores.

- Looks familiar? Seen those in movies? Where do you think they got the idea?

Again, I felt the amusement at my bewilderment.

- Haha, this is so fun! Welcome my dear, to the heart of creation. This if you will is the central command, where everything takes form. The universe was created from here.

- But how?

- You are not quite ready for this yet, but your scientists will figure it out one day. They are on the right track, with quantum mechanics, and yea, that collider thingie they are building right now. One day, when the time is right, the human race will figure it out.

I saw beings scurrying around.

- Angels?

- Yes.

Now, I am kicking myself that I did not ask to be introduced. But the bewilderment and amazement still had me under a spell...

- Now, I would like to show you something.

I saw what appeared to be a ball of energy brewing, getting bigger. It was n't so much the size that was impressive, but rather the feeling of awesome power that it looked like it could wield. Question marks were popping into my head.

- This is the energy of creation! But you were guessing that already.

- But it feels, kinda... female... I don't mean to judge, but, it does...

- No worries, what you are seeing and feeling is the mother energy of creation, that from which everything is born. From the body that you inhabit to the immense universes to the tiniest of atoms.

As if to show me a demonstration of the power, it flew around like a tornado, spinning and whizzing. Fireworks display will not be the same anymore, I thought.

- But the female energy that prevails on earth does not quite match that.

- I am glad you mentioned that. If only the women of the earth knew the awesome powers they carry within them. No, we did not discriminate, but this is how things really are. The power to create is just how things are. Of course, both energies are complementary. You have to be careful not to let your brain play any tricks of superiority complex here. It is not like that. The female energy truly is awesome, but it has to be complemented by the male energies. Both polarities are needed to create.

But the creaion energy can also be a formidable force of destruction. The mythologies have got that depicted in the archetype of Kali. You see what has happened over the ages, as a part of creation has fallen deeper and deeper into amnesia, the male beings have grown very fearful of the female energy. Out of ego, they have wanted to use it for selfish purpose. When they could not get what they wanted, they have tried to control it instead. And eventually, they would try to suppress it completely.

Its expression has been mitigated, but it has lived on in various expressions. Through sisterhoods, various schools of mysteries. Most had to stay underground for fear of persecution. That was why so many schools stayed secretive. Through dark ages, that was why women have been persecuted, burnt at the stake, denied their rights. But all this is changing now. Very soon, creation will take back what is rightfully its own, and all darkness shall be cleansed.

I judge none of my children. In compassion, I have allowed them to experiment without my Light. But things have gone too far. Creation follows a blueprint, a pattern where the microcosm unfolds within the macrocosm. But the degree of pain and suffering has been quite intense. More than what was initially thought of. While this has created a school of intense and fast learning and has allowed a lot of souls to grow fast and exponentially, it has gone on for too long. The more it goes on, the further from the light creation goes. But like a rubber band it cannot go on stretching for ever. At some point, it will have to snap back, and this is now going to happen.

- Have we reached the end point?

- Not quite. There is still a lot of darkness to be dealt with. All darkness has to come to the surface to be processed and turned into light. Everyone has to come home.

Sensing a question I had about the prevailing darkness on earth, I was shown a vision.

- You see, what most humans have not realised yet is that every single thought creates. Even if not in this dimension, it manifests somewhere. Let me show you.

I was shown what looked like a pool. In it were thoughts. They looked like squiggly little sperms. Some were big, others smaller. When a thought comes about, it comes in to this pool to be processed. Energy cannot be destroyed. And thoughts represent energy. This pool was built especially to deal with so-called negative thoughts. There is no negative or positive from the perspective of how we view good or bad things happening to us, but those thoughts were those that if allowed to manifest would cause the life force within a being to be hit.

Sometimes, though the thought is given too much intensity and cannot be cleansed, and thus has to manifest in physical form in order to be released. This then takes the form of disease, bad luck and such.

- But not all negative thoughts come here. Some get trapped - into people's psyches. And this is where we have created various healing modalities to help free all these trapped energies. As we have shared with you some time ago, everyone has repressed feelings that have been trapped within the psyche and want to be released, but the human body holds on them. Do yourself and them a favor and let them go. Let us do something now.

I was given an opportunity to do a little bit of healing on myself at that point. I was shown some of the residue energies that I still had within me, and was taught how to heal them. It was something that I had been taught before, but I was having a chance to see the healing happening in front of me. Each limiting and damaging thought took the form of a scared little animal and child and came cowering to me for care and love. I took each one of them in my arms, caressed them, told them that I loved them, that I acknowledge them as my own, but that it was time for them to be transmuted and returned to the light. I could also sense the love and tenderness of my Mother Goddess as I was being guided through the process. A greater sense of lightness gently poured over me, the more this went on, the more I was feeling innocence, as if going back to being a child or baby.

As I was seeing the process going on, my hands - as in my physical body - started doing some weird movements, touching parts of my body and making signs in the air. For a while, my right and left hand hovered over my left knee, on which I had an operation some 8 years ago. I knew my knee was being made to heal at a deeper level. And then, my right hand started touching each one of my chakras, from top to bottom, and I could feel the flow of energy within each.

It still felt very surreal that I was going through this experience. All this while, I had lost track of what was happening with the actual ceremony, even though I could it make out when hymns were being sung. I could figure out that the Hail Mary prayer was being said in Dutch. Then, someone announced that there was going to be a second serving of the Santo Daime. The light was turned on, and I came back to reality. Feeling very groggy, I wondered if I would be able to stand up and walk to have the drink. I looked around and saw that some people were indeed having difficuly standing up. A few folks were lying down on the mats on the side, probably reeling from their own experience.

I remembered that I had not puked yet, and that concerned me as to whether I should still have my second serving. I thought that since I seemed to be doing well, why not. So, I walked into the line and took my second glass, which was not as full as the first. I thought to myself that was probably a good thing. The guy pouring the drink probably was experienced enough to gauge how much was good for each one of us.

I then went back to my seat, while the chanting resumed. It did not take me long to go back and meet with the Goddess. I then thought I should ask some questions about some cool stuffs. I then asked to see how I was created. I was told that my body would move instinctively to show me further instructions besides the mental visuals. So, it goes something like this.

A grain of DNA that resides at the top of the spine is taken from whichever being we come from. That being is usually from source itself, although it may have an individuated consciousness and can manifest itself in other forms, shapes and travel to multiple dimensions. This is our God/Goddess self. In the trinity, the Father. And arguably, the entity I was interacting with. Each one of us has a God/Goddess self that does not consider itself separate from source even if it has an individuated consciousness, and in fact considers itself AS source.

The grain of DNA is then split. One half of it becomes our soul. The Holy Spirit. The soul is born first. The process is very similar to that of how a baby is born. I was told that a lot of the processes that happen on earth are a reflection of how things also happen in other higher dimensions, the idea being that those are meant to remind us of home. This splitting process - the splitting of the atom also came to my mind - had to happen when the God self wanted to experience life in a body. The 3D template came only later, but there have been other body types resonating at higher frequencies before the human template was designed and created.

When the soul is born and before incarnation, it goes to a place where it still has intimate knowledge of where it comes from. I saw a joyous, eager and innocent being of my soul swimming in a pool of blissful energy and looking at other dimensions, choosing where it would incarnate. I then wanted to see if I incarnated on other planets before. But I was n't shown that, the reason I was given was that I was to work on this incarnation for now, and only after I feel comfortable and am done with the work in the body will be given to see my other incarnations.

The other grain of the DNA is kept within a cocoon, till the time the soul chooses a particular incarnation for the first time. It becomes The Son, or the ego. When a body is chosen for the first time, the other DNA half is then merged with the body (foetus), and when the process if firmly anchored, the soul then joins in to create the consciousness of the being. When the first incarnation happens, the ego itself becomes as a new being. Yet another expression of God, but an individuated one nonetheless. In subsequent incarnations, the essence of that ego self, together with the soul self joins in to the body.

The way I understand it, the ego is designed to drive the body. It is an expert at ensuring the survival of the body. The soul on the other hand is our link to our God self. In physical terms, they represent the left and right brain. In the beginning, when we first incarnated - it could be on any planet within any dimension - mostly we had a memory of our origins, but this dimension experienced a fall in frequency, and grew further and further from the light of Source. At some point, a veil grew around it, and it became the norm that every being that incarnates in a body would forget their divine connections.

Some souls became too identified with the body, and their amnesia grew further. Another quandary was that cycles of karma kept a lot prisoners, and hence reincarnation upon another, we came back. Those spirits that had experimented with their free will by creating without the light of God became the prison wardens, and became bent on seeing to it that souls would not go back to the Light. The amnesia might even have gotten so bad some may even have forgotten about the Light of Source! This is where the time has now come for creation to reclaim what is rightfully its own, and for all of us to go back home. Will some souls rebel so much that they will just refuse to see the light? Free will is the key, but what happens is really a matter between them and source. What does not change however is that all is just one.

- And now, your body is ready to experience something very beautiful. Would you like to feel my pure essence?

- Yes, of course!

I felt a tremendous energy build up at the base of my spine, and starting to coil upwards. Instinctively, I knew it was the legendary kundalini energy busrting through. I literally felt a fire burning inside, but I knew that I was in good hands, and that I would not be going through this if I was not ready.

Someone in the group then announced that we would be partaking in the Santa Maria. I saw some folks take out their marijuana joints and light up. We were to start with 3 puffs - for the moon, the sun and the stars. I took the joint that was passed to me, took the first 3 puffs and then a couple more and then handed it back. I could still get up to take an ash tray and clean up some ash that had fallen on my chair. Probably thinking that I was doing pretty well, the assistant came over and asked me if I wanted to light up a roll for myself. Feeling what was going on inside, I thought that was probably not a good idea, so I politely declined.

I then closed my eyes again, and went back to the Goddess. She told me she now wanted to have some fun and spend some time together as 2 lovers that were seeing each other again after a very long time. She morphed into a seductive snake-like being, twisting her body to the chanting of the hymns and the guitar melodies. She told me that true love between 2 beings is the time when she really gets to be close to her children. She then took several forms - goofy genie, fair maiden in the castle, seductive flamenco dancer, at which point she asked me to dance. I felt I was dancing with her in the most romantic cosmic moves ever.

She then asked me if she could feel me within my body again, because she wanted to dance to the music that was being played. My physical body then started contorting to the music, and I could feel that I was doing very feminine, very gracious movements with my hands, down my hips which started swaying on the chair.

- Thank you for allowing me for being part of the ceremony in this way. The kind of ceremony you are experiencing has been taught to humans for a very long time. The sacred plants and their spirits were gifted so that we could come down, be your lovers, move within you, so that you too could feel who you truly are. All expressions of romantic love, the fire that burns within stems from that sacred marriage that each being has with his or her own God/Goddess self. But also the love between mother/child, brother/sister, etc. Love is what keeps alive within all of you the memories of Home and Source. But like a lot of things, some expressions of it has been corrupted by the twisting acts of conditioning. Some expressions of love have morphed into issues of co-dependency which afflicts your world.

People know they are looking for something, but they have forgotten that, so they go for an alternative. But the days of remembrance are very near!

Once again, I felt really good, feeling the energy moving inside of me. Not once has there been a feeling of doubt or fear. I felt that all the previous experiences I had been going through were leading me through this. But once, again, I was told to control my body movements.

- So, they do not want us to dance together tonight...

- It's just that they have their purpose. The main thing is that this is a religious setting, so it's taken very seriously. In any case, this person, even if he does not know it, is here to guide. By you asking me to stop, this is how you learn to control the energy of God. You see, everyone wants to reach enlightenment and wants to come over to the heavens. Sure, you are most welcome to come and pay us a visit, but what I would also like you to know is that we also want to come join you in this body of yours. We want to feel like you feel, fall in love the same way you do, feel the thrills of a roller-coaster, feel all the deepest of the human emotions. But before we can join you fully in the body, we need you to prepare it, to nurture it.

You see, if the energy of God was to hit you like that with all of its might, your body would die instantly. This was our agreement. That, when ready, you would welcome us, you would tell us how much of the light you can handle. Have no doubt that for some time now, your body has been upgraded to handle more light. This is happening to everyone. And this is something that you will have to guide us. We are so eager to be reunited with you that we would just give all of ourselves to you, but you know best on how to let this process unfold. Ask to be guided. You have helpers - your guides in the ether, but also the other fellow humans you interact with. You know who they are. There will be more, you will make more connections.

So, you are starting to feel it. You will realise now that your body has used a tremendous amount of energy. Just like when a car burns fuel, or your body for that matter, it creates waste products that need to be flushed. Be ready, it will be quite hard on you, but we are here with you.

This is where I felt that I wanted to vomit and made a sign to one of the helpers of the group. He passed me a plastic bucket and I went into a corner. I then puked a thick tar like substance. I then felt my body talk to me. Tell me about all the nasty stuffs that I ate, drank as well as all the negative thoughts that I've had that were being purged from me. I felt completely drained and stayed there crouched over the bucket. I felt my gut coming apart as the thick liquid poured out. The guy then came over and asked if I could go back to my seat. I asked Goddess how I could do it, and she told me you can. Just believe and it was all in my mind. Somehow I managed to summon the strength and got up. It felt miraculous to me.

A short while passed before I wanted to puke again. More of the tar like substance came out. This time, I really could not stand up, and I asked to lie down. I was gently propped onto a mat, and a kind soul put a blanket over me. At that point, I was not having fun anymore. I could feel the toll on my body, while the energy was still very much churning inside. I asked for it to stop, to calm down and it did. After lying down for a short while, once again I was asked to go back to the group as the final prayers were being said. I thought I would not be able to stand up. But I did summon the courage, and asked for help.

As the final prayers were being said, I felt the time had come to leave the magnificent place I had visited and to say good-bye. It also felt that all spirits that had visited the group were getting ready to retreat. Once again, I felt that this was one of the many ways Spirit had kept the door open to this dimension for humans, Gods, spirits to come into communion and love each other.

- This is not good-bye. Rather, this is a reunion. We can be together anytime you like. It may not be with the same intensity. But I am there always. Please be patient. This process takes time. The prayers are now going to end. Once it's all over, you will feel fine, you will be able to walk and act as you normally would, you will be sober again. Good-bye for now.

Miraculously, as the last words to the prayer of the Lord was being said, I looked up and felt fine. And then it was all over. I turned to the guy next to me and shook his hands. The one behind me tapped on the shoulders and we hugged each other. It was obvious on everyone's face. Everyone had been to heaven and back - each in their own way. Since that was my first time, I was asked how it went. I just replied - Good. I had the widest smile on my face. I did not dare say it. I did not dare say that I met God. One lady I spoke to earlier came over to speak to me and she told me how the dance was beautiful. I just told her that I met a very beautiful energy and it just did its thing.

The room felt drunk in love. It was very palpable. Small groups then broke out to converse, and then I started to look for some help to go back. My hotel was quite far way, but I was not even bothered. Finally, I grabbed my stuffs, said quick good-byes and got out. It took me some time to find a taxi, but then I met with a stranger that gave me a lift to a nearby train station. I caught the last train to he main Amsterdam station and then a taxi from there.

I got to the hotel and quickly got ready for bed. The effects of the drink came back a little and I knew I was going to meet Goddess again, this time just being by myself. I did not get to sleep that night. We talked the whole night, I asked so many things. But all I can remember after that is that I had not felt so happy like I did that night.

The fractal nature of creation, evolution of consciousness and the of the ego

2009-07-18T14:43:00.001+08:00

Coming soon...

Of shadowy aspects of selves.

2009-07-18T01:41:00.003+08:00

In this post, I talk abour my own experiences with the shadow self. Spiritual literature is replete with descriptions of the wounded inner child and how to heal it. Some call it the shadow aspect of ourselves, what in various mythologies is referred to as the descent into the underworld. It embodies the traumas that we just shove underneath the carpet throughout our life until there comes a point when they come knocking on our doors and ask to be processed. Our society and culture unfortunately do not encourage us to feel and acknowledge our dark feelings, so we have a world of people living wounded lives that never get resolved and this is projected out into the world we are living in. Hence on a larger scale we all are to a certain extent responsible for all that is not right with the world. A while ago, I told myself I accept the responsibility of having contributed to that, instead of blaming some foreign powers who would not be all that powerful if we were not giving our power away to them.

I figured if I take responsibility for these by acknowledging those facets of myself that I do not like, I have the power to transmute and change them, and in doing so, I help to shine my light out into the world. But if I keep thinking that all the negative stuff are caused by just a group of people, it implies to a certain extent that the outcome rests only with those folks, and hence I have very little control and influence over outcomes in the world and I could be forever the victim. I read somewhere that the illuminati, annunaki, Skulls and Bones, Bilderberger of this world are but a reflection of the overall level of consciousness and I would tend to agree with that. Once the people on this planet deal with their own inner shadow and become empowered, all those dark entities would automatically dissolve.

I really think there is no shortcut to the pain that we feel, although sometimes, I do wonder whether there are shortcuts to any of those. I am not sure about that, but sometimes, it felt that I did have to go through everything in order to come out at the other end of the tunnel. Relationships are great examples of such scenarios, especially those that create huge shifts and intense personal transformation. We end up repeating the same patterns and going on the same roller coaster ride for another while more until we gain the perception we need to move on or the energies are just too different to coexist anymore. As long as that does not happen and the energy was not fully processed and we are given another chance to do the work. If we go our own merry way and enter into another relationship without resolving any previous issues and gained the insight that are needed to be had, chances are very high that the same patterns would repeat in another future relationship.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that there could be a method to the madness. But we could walk through the fire with a greater awareness, and that might make things a little bit easier. For example, by just feeling the pain and let it be, rather than fight it and get depressed about it. After a while, once it is released and yielded any perception it was meant to bring, it will get freed of its own accord. So, I think if shortcut there is, the mindset in approaching the situation is it. In hindsight, we could always tell ourselves that if we knew all this beforehand, things would have been a lot easier. But I have to acknowledge that from my personal experience, one or 2 years ago, I did not have the same level of consciousness, so I had to walk the path to get to where I am. I do not know whether I have to face any more demons later on, but I am sure glad I dealt with the last ones. I also noticed that our spirit always seems to be testing us to see if we really got over and learnt from the old situation before we get to move on fully.

If you are familiar with the work of Carolyn Miss, she talks about how all of the aspects we hold, positive or negative, we give energy to. Hence, the traumas that we go through cause us to leak energy. If we get a daily dose of pranic force everyday that we are alive, each of the issues, no matter how big and small cause us to lose some of the energy that we are assigned. Hence, we could be left with very little energy to drive ourselves around, and hence the reason why we may feel tired and out of it. If our energy balance runs into overdraft, that is where we then borrow from our cell tissues or from other people (psychic vampirism), and then develop illnesses or distorted karmic bonds.

Which means that every dark aspect that we face within ourselves frees up energy within our chakras, and hence we have more and more energy at our disposal to live our lives more fully and in line with our spirit. Also, because we use energy to manifest things, this would mean that if we do not have enough energy to manifest, for example a house, but we still do, that may mean that we have "borrowed" energy from somewhere and we may need to pay it back in the form of our health or mental state. It got me thinking about those people who "have it all". Money, fame, relationship, etc... and yet are not happy. I have a theory about the correlation between our level of consciousness and energy, but I think that would be the subject of a future post.

Dream Journalling

2008-12-14T11:50:00.002+08:00

I believe we have all wondered at some point or another about which direction our life is going. If we spend some time to observe the way our lives go, it seems that we are bound to see cycles, that is patterns that keep repeating themselves over and over. This is not the topic of this discussion, but I want to bring this up in order to make clear a distinction between our conscious and subconscious mind. This also goes into addictions or other disorders or disempowering thoughts that we might get stuck with, without being able to figure out why.

The simple explanation is this. Our conscious mind is bombarded on a daily basis with redundant and insidious thought forms. The news, advertisement, our daily commitments that we have to attend to. What happens then is that our conscious mind become submerged into a sea of distractions, and it becomes very difficult to really go deep within ourselves to figure things out.

But our own destiny and creations are all within our reach. We just need to figure out where to look for them. Meditation is a very good way to do that. But one key practice of meditation is that we often try to clear our mind of thoughts. So, this is a bit counter-intuitive to what we are trying to do, which is to figure what is in our subconscious mind. Some people often divination techniques to bring out this kind of information. The technique I want to talk about here though is going to our subconscious mind via our dreams.

The concept behind this is very simple. As I have already stated, in our "awake" state, aka our beta frequency state, our mind is too laden with random stuffs for us to be still enough to figure things out. But when we go to sleep, we shift from beta to alpha to theta and then delta. The beta state is our common waking state that we operate in most of the time. When we into alpha, our brain frequency slows down a bit and we become more relaxed. The theta state

...to be continued...

Worship of the goddess

2008-08-17T17:57:00.003+08:00

In times gone by, the goddess would sit on her throne, in all her glory, showing off her beauty, her splendour and all that passed by to look on to her, would be mesmerized by that image of purity and innocence. And they would bow down, females and males alike and sing praises to her. She would drive them crazy, to the point that they would be ready to die for her, such is her magic and allure. But this is no ordinary death, for it is a conscious transition. It allows the heart of the onlooker to open through the arts, through music and poetry.

Countless authors, playwrights and musicians have sung praises to the goddess over the ages gone by. But when the earth fell, the goddess forgot who she was. She started to have lingering doubts. Her image started to shatter, and the passers-by began to look upon her with suspicions. As she tried to gain back her composure through the arts of magic, they cried foul. They burnt her at the stake. For they too had suffered a great loss of memory. And then things started to spiral downwards. The goddess fell off her throne, bruised and wounded - physically, emotionally and spiritually.

But the worshippers suffered a wretched fate as well. For in violating the goddess with their wicked invectives, they were harming their own selves as well. Their hearts hardened, like stones. The feelings of romance left them. To protect herself, the goddess put around her a cloak of protection. A wall. To protect herself, she had to let go of her own feelings. She had to forget that her own sons and daughters had forsaken her, for the pain was too hard to bear. And so she forgot.

And lost were those golden days where worshipper and worshipped dance as one. In those days, those who worshipped knew that in accepting their praises of glory, they were being worshipped too. Goddess and disciples were equal. The worshipper was the worshipped and the worshipped was the worshipper. It was a magical and cosmic dance that pulsed for aeons until the fall. Duality then sprung forth, and the amnesia became even more pronounced.

After a while, the memories started to stir a little, and there were vague flashes of remembrance. So, everyone built and started to worship idols, false gods. They were but pillars of illusion. In modern times, the fake goddesses stroll in front of cameras titillating the senses once again. But it is just a tiny speck of the glory that once existed.

The time has now come for us to remember that the gods and goddesses live in our own midst. Our brothers and sisters, our fathers and mothers, our lovers and beloved. When our hearts open again to see the beauty and splendour of the goddesses, once again they will take their rightful place back on the throne and be ready to be worshipped once more. In the same breath, when the goddesses that walk among us truly remember who they are, they will indeed, of their own will sit down on the thrones, and the onlookers will start to see once again. They will see the beauty, they will feel the magic and they will hear the music.

And the cosmic dance can begin once again. The play of love and glory, the pulsing of the divine, the masculine and the feminine within each and everyone of us. For such is our essence, as a microcosm of the macrocosm. For we all hold within ourselves yin and yang, light and dark, known and unknown. And on that day, the temple will thus flung its doors wide open, and so the goddess shall be worshipped once more.

A momentary halt in time.

2008-08-15T22:20:00.002+08:00

Holding my fantasies about you to myself keep them pure and untainted.

Our childlike innocence and play, lost to the dementia of the ego and the quest for permanence.

Solitude beckons to the craving heart.

Only a return to the virgin veil can save the warrior from his own madness.

In surrender, passion and desire grow, pulsing and consuming each other.

The serpent devours its own tail.

The thrusts of time come full circle, into the infinity of the eight.

And nothing else remains but death, immortality and the end of time, freezed in picture perfect moment.

Fardin. Aug 15, 2008.

Another experience

2008-05-14T22:59:00.002+08:00

Date: Sunday March 16 Morning 1am.

I went to bed at around 1am in the morning. Prior to that, I had been re-reading the couple of Michael's articles on channelling. I also did a tarot reading for myself before going to bed, that pretty much confirmed the energies that are present in my life at the moment. I shall not elaborate on these as they are not the subject matter of this account.

As usual, I like to use audio guided meditations to start getting into the trance state. I started with relaxing my body, visualizing energy flow through my body first, and then blasting open all my chakras. When I could feel everything nicely pumping and flowing, I started visualizing my body, my head, my brain, down to the level of detail of the brain synapses. They were pretty clear that time, and then I moved out to visualize the crown of my head.

The intense tingling was matched by very clear visuals of throbbing petals of the crown chakra. At this point, either I cannot recall what happened next, or I just lost control of things. What I recall next is being sucked into the now familiar warp of random visuals ranging from gardens, forests, to waterfalls. The next thing I know, I found myself in some kind of pool, and on the bank, sat on high chairs were people who appeared to form some kind of elders council. I checked up on the energy imprint and felt safe to proceed.

I should point out at that point that the self that I was seeing was that of an infant. I cannot fathom why I would be swimming in the water, surrounded by all these folks, but this was what was happening. So, it turns out I was back with my spiritual ancestors. I was welcome home! I then asked a number of questions - who I am, what am I doing on earth, and so on. I shall not, once again talk about these as they are not really relevant to this experience. I saw different visions of who I was supposed to be in past lives.

I asked about someone with whom I had been have rocky periods lately, and she appeared to me as a child, just like I was a child myself in the visions. She was a playful and mischievous little girl, and was shying away from me, as if leading me to somewhere, but never quite letting me catch up with her. I soon grew tried of her frolics and gave up on interpreting these visions, so I stated my intent to proceed.

Next came perhaps the most interesting part of the experience. I met my guides. In previous encounters, they appeared to me as holiest of holies, but this time they looked like normal human entities, but one key trait was that they seemed mischeavous and appeared to be playing pranks on me. I had some initial doubt in my mind that they could be some other entities, but once again I validated the energy signature, and I felt safe to continue. One of them told me to remember the signature for future communication.

I was then told to be prepared, that something was about to happen. This is when I started feeling itching and energy flows in my body. It was not as intense as the first experience I related about a week ago, but one of the first thing I noticed was that there was an energy in my mouth causing my lips to do full rotation, my cheeks went up, and I felt my eyes squinting. The funny side of the scenario was not lost on me, and I asked my guides whether they were having some fun at my expense, to which they heartily laughed. I just surrendered to the experience. I also started asking questions to them, but these are not entirely clear in my memory at this point.

Now, throughout these ongoings, my roommate who had been out clubbing had come back home with some friends, and even though I was in a trance, I could hear some music playing out in the living room. If I was going to have an out of body experience, the music somehow was a distraction that kept my consciousness in my body. Maybe there was a purpose to it all. Then, it started happening, the facial spasms gradually turned into motions in my body itself.

There seemed to be an unknown energy moving my arms and legs, and I knew that I did not have any form of conscious control on them. The initial thoughts that came up were "interesting" to say the least. I began wondering if I was being "possessed", or if I would ever step out of all these movements that seemed to be happening without my conscious will. There was no fear however, maybe due to the funny aspect that I mentioned above.

As though to assuage my concerns, I felt a distinctively feminine energy that sought to reassure me, encouraging me to surrender to the experience. At the same time, my body was being aligned into various postures on its own. In the first ones, my legs would align close together, if they were separated, they would be brought into alignment on their own, my left arm would then swing around and lay on my chest, the right would then do its own movements before closing in on the left. I could feel my body being aligned in perfect symmetry, something which the
energy seemed very attentive to maintaining.

Being somewhat semi-conscious, as the trance state was wearing off, I tried to consciously influence the movements of my limbs. But I just could not. Both body and mind were completely in surrender mode. Someone observing with a camera might have fallen off their chairs laughing at some point. While lying down, my left and right arms moved like serpents on my bed before raising up completely straight pointing at the ceiling. Besides musing on the humorous side of things, I was also wondering if the postures I was adopting had any significant meaning. I felt they could be some secret codes to unlock something. When I asked about that, I was told it was time yet for these to be revealed to me, whatever that
was supposed to mean.

Just like for the first time, erotic visions involving myself and other feminine entities were brought into my consciousness, as my body was led into gentle pelvic thrusts. Once again, the thought that I could swayed by some manipulative energy came to my awareness, but the rapture of the moment was too intense for me to care. Then, my body started to move on its own into various weird postures that caused me to shift around into a 360 degrees rotation around my bed. I could definitely feel my legs hanging out of my bed. It also seemed the energy was wise and kind enough not the throw me out on the floor! Next came spontaneous yoga postures, which then made sense to me as to what was happening: spontaneous
kundalini energy. It is something that I had read a lot on since attending a kundalini yoga workshop about 3 weeks ago. Most people's account speak of violent shaking, some train wrecking their inside organs, and so on.

But there I was being gently guided into these spontaneous poses, and feeling pretty darn good about it. Various stretches followed, that I would normally not be able to do, at my current level of practice. I also remember doing a shoulder stand, gracefully going up and down. When it started tempering down, I tried to come to my senses, but I felt pretty tired. This actually went on for quite a few hours. I fell in and out of sleep, while the spontaneous energy was still gently acting upon my body. It must have been close to 7am when I finally managed to drift off to a more stable sleep.

I woke up in a daze at around noon, and had a bit more surprise in store. As I sat there reading my emails, my face started twitching again...It was probably a good thing I did not step outside to treat my flat mate to a spontaneous head stand in the living room!

The 3 and a half dimension

2008-05-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

For lack of a better word. This is the place I started exploring a while back when I started talking about my personal accounts of peak experiences and energy activation. In this short narrative, I am going to talk about this realm, what it is made of, its characteristic, how it relates to us, and if possible, the implications of being there. My interest in this dimension is based on curiosity alone at the moment, and in the future explore how to get there at will. I am hoping that by writing this down, it will act as a positive reinforcement on my brain neurons, and allow travelling to this space become a more natural act, just like I would wake up in the morning, and take the bus or train to work, for example.

I would like to first state that the reason why I define it as a separate place is because there is a transition that happens before, and once I am in this space, most of the physical laws that we know about, especially time and matter do not apply anymore. Time definitely seems to slow down, by a lot. Maybe by a ratio of 15-20. For example, when I move my hand, it takes a lot more time to move from let's say my right lap to my left lap. Of course, this is relative to the usual notion of time that my brain has been conditioned under in normal 3D circumstances.

The second thing I noticed is that energy follows thought much faster and manifestation happens much quicker. But whatever is manifested does not last for very long. It probably has to do with the nature of the energy in that realm. It is much more fluid, much more gooey like. It is quite a contrast from the solid nature of matter in our 3D reality. What is interesting however, is that in order to travel there, I need energy. Huge amounts of it. This energy is generated by the spinning of chakras. I don't know how to quantify the spinning motion of chakras, but picture a Formula 1 racing engine roaring at full throttle in your body, and you might have an idea of what it feels like.

Before I get the engine roaring though, I need to specify intent. I am going to go a little backwards here. Before I can get such results from intent along, I figured my brain needs to be operating at the same frequency as where I intend to be. So, reversing the process, the trick then is to get the brain to be operating at this same frequency first, then light up the jet engines with intent. This moves the energy at lightning speed, and within a short while, I am transported to this space.

So, why is it that we want to ce in this space? Well right now, as conditions stand in our 3D reality, it takes quite a bit of time to get our chakras to light up. Now, I won't go into a discussion as to what contitutes good speed on our chakras. If you have not experienced the frequency I am talking about, then we can debate about it until the cows come home. But my belief is that it gives us a good indication of really how fast energy can move once the earth ascends, and serves as a good ground to show skeptics proof that our 3D reality is not the only reality that is out there. In fact, I would even say that I have barely scratched the surface by being able to transport to other dimension.

The other thing that I happens is that visualization becomes a no-brainer. I can visualize almost anything that tickles my fancy at will, and I get really much more detailed imagery that any current graphics technology can render. This to me shows that our visual technology is way more advanced than any silicon graphics card will ever be developed in the future. Unless silicon is replaced by the same material that powers the camera in our brain? Now, here is a caveat that I would like to bring up for whoever wants to explore this realm. We are all mostly familiar with the notion "as above, so below." We know that the reason why matter takes time to follow energy in our 3D world is because energy is a lot denser in our 3D world. But as I mentioned above, in that dimension, energy follows thought much quicker. So, if a visitor to those realms still has innate fears that have not been thoroughly worked through and these are brought to the surface in this dimension, heaven knows what the visitor might churn out of his or her mind if ever fear strikes. So, my word of caution here is to work through your issues well before hand.

Now visualization is only one aspect of what we can do in this realm. While I am still to explore all possibilities, if you want to get ahead of the curve, and imagine what you can play with, think about your chakras. I believe that since we have all chakras fully blown out, the cosmos (the sky is way too low here) and your imagination is the limit really. Once you get there, use your chakras and your imagination to play around. Another example is the crown chakra. This chakra, when fully open and spinning plugs us directly into the fabric of consciousness. Which means that channelling become child's play really. For more information, please consult Michael Sharp's series of articles on channelling on how to ground and how to achieve safest and best results. The only word of caution I would mention here is to create a safe space by intending and firmly asking all entities that do not have the highest good of all souls in the universe to leave your space.

Another possibility is that the veil is momentarily lifted and we get to see or feel the true glory of our true self, and who we really are. In this space, the illusions of the 3D world that we have all created become a mockery literally. So, here is an interesting observation. When we are conscious in 3D, we are totally not aware of any other dimension out there, probably because of the effects of the veil. But once we are in this other realm, we are still fully conscious that another 3D reality that we normally live exists. This brings me to the last point.

Since we have already covered time, I would like to cover how this dimension relates to us spatially. Now, I strongly believe that this place itself is a multi-dimensional portal to other realms out there. Once we get there, we can use our mind to transport to other realms usually with our eyes closed. We can also induce out of body experiences much more easily. But this immediate dimension itself, in spite of all the various characteristics that I mentioned above feels very similar to our 3D reality. There might be slight distortions like some objects existing at some location, which would not normally be there in our usual 3D space. My suspicion here is that this world takes on whatever form we attach to it. And our mind actually takes whatever is our latest most familiar setting and converts it into that realm as well, so that it appears exactly similar as to what our 3D world looks like, but our body is operating at a different frequency - the same frequency that this world operates at.

All this is fine and dandy, but how does this relate to our common 3D experience? As I mention above, this is a good ground for multi-dimensional skeptics to explore for proof of other existential realities. Also, by experiencing instant powers of manifestation, a bit like in our dreams, but in more of a semi-awake altered state of consciousness, this gives us a good feel of how energy manipulation and manifestation might feel like in an ascended 3D universe. It is my sincere hope that with more human entities exploring these other realms, bits and pieces of them will trickle into our reality and accelerate the shift in consciousness that is required before all of us can experience such realities at will. This in turn would hopefully accelerate the ascension path of our 3D universe, and get us to the point where we can start finally collectively overwhelm the illusions of our 3D reality and get back to the serious business of play as soon as possible. I hope to see exploration of such realms become more mainstream as time flows by in the 3D world, and serious resources being into this as a new area of research.

A New World

2008-04-09T10:49:00.000+08:00

I was born one day on this earth.

Surrounded by the stars, and the planets, the moon and the sun.

All I could see was a multitude of colours.

All I could feel was the universal love.

All I could hear was the voice and the music of God.

Then I grew up, and many many years later.

I was told I had but one color.

I was told I belonged to a race.

I was told I belonged to a gender.

I was told I was good at some things.

I was told I was bad at others.

I saw my friends flock together, like birds of the same feathers.

Although I could not understand why, I went along.

I was told how to live my life.

I was told to do well at school.

I was told to get a degree.

I was told to find a pretty wife.

I was told to raise my kids just the way I was raised.

Although I kept wondering why, I tried to be the best I could.

I was told it is ok to have war.

I was told hunger and poverty are part of life.

I was told sometimes, things do not work out.

I was told to be just like everybody else.

I was told that life is not fair and to get on with it.

Although I felt it did not sound very right, I thought maybe this is what life is all about.

Then one fine day, I heard a whisper in my ears.

It sounded like the melody I heard when I was born.

I felt like a little tinge of the love I felt when I was born.

Then I fell asleep, and went into a land of dreams.

Instead of a single colour, I saw myself as the colours of the rainbow.

Instead of a race or gender, I saw myself as One with All that Is.

As the memories flooded back in.

I wished the dream would never end.

When I woke up in the morning, the world looked different.

There were no more wars, no more hunger and poverty.

Everywhere I saw joy, everywhere I saw peace.

Then I realised, everybody else had the same dream.

Together, we created this new world.

Together, we ended suffering, evil.

Together, we erased barriers, and united with All that Is.

Together, we remembered why we came here.

Together, we shall create more joy and more fun.

At the same time we were all born.

And we all gave birth to this new Earth.

A Mother's Love

2008-03-25T14:35:00.002+08:00

If I was to choose a colour to define a mother's love

It would be white - white like

The symbols of purity, sheer innocence

It is one of the rare things that remais untarnished for ever

It is such a mystery - that unconditional love

That a mother has for her child

She gives her love and care right from the start

She nurtures her baby within her womb

Whispers sweet comforting words

And the baby feels peace and joy, and giggles

She talks to her baby all the time

Prepares for its coming into this world

When it is born, it is her most precious

Even more than her own life

She devotes herself to her baby

Making sure one fine day he or she

Will grow into a fine young man or lady

As my pen scribbles this tribute to her

I am unconditionally and infinitely grateful to God

For giving me the greatest mum in the world

And blessed be every soul who feels the same way too

And blessed be every mother borne to this world

© December 2002 - Fardin

Synergy of the senses

2008-03-24T23:34:00.001+08:00

They are the five gems of the human body

They are gifts of God

They are the channels though which we interact with the external world -

Those precious stones we call the senses

They help us appreciate God's other creations

We fall in total admiration at the sight of nature's wonders -

Mesmerizing landscapes carved in mountains, forests, rivers and lakes

We stroll along the beach and marvel at the waves pounding the rocks

In a wild field that spans the horizon, we are bewildered by the mozaic of floral colours

The thrills of all those spectacles send pulses down our spine

The urge to touch them creeps into us like a relentless craving

Touch the cooling water flowing down the river

Touch the soft texture of a flower opening up its glowing petals in the sun

Feel the velvet touch of silk

Lovers hold hands and hug

The slightest skim bringing tingles, pulses, pounding hearts

Their breath stop as if in contemplation of that magical moment - a kiss

Which bring their lips to heavenly ecstasy

To the traveller who has strolled under the scorching desert sun

He kneels down at the oasis and takes a first sip of the water and life flows back into him

We have been gifted with taste buds to sample delicacies

They appeal to us as much through the taste as through the aroma they exhale

We let ourselved be tingled by perfumes, flowers and aromas.

Dead leaves falling off and spreading out during autumn

The flowers exerting their seductive powers in a

Sweet uncanny smell of a fresh morning breeze in the prairie

It whistles in our ears as if a synchronised melody

We are entranced by the music that transcends our ears

The soft whisper of a loving voice

The chaotic cacophony of piercing sounds -

Children basking in the sweet innoncence of youth and

Giving way to their shrieking symphonic talents

Words surely fall way short of describing the sensual wonders

And when they synergise at the highest frequency

We probably get a taste of what heaven is going to be like

That synergy creates some kind of sixth sense

When the mind goes in trance and harmony with itself - as if appeased for a moment

When the mind transcends reality and steps out of this world for but an instant

Let us treasure them and be thankful for them

© November 1999 - Fardin

Full Awakening - Proof of the pudding.

2008-03-08T12:04:00.001+08:00

Time of event: on the night of 6th to 7th of March 2008.

I looked at the clock before going to bed. It was 11.40pm. I checked the playlist on my computer media player and had 3 meditation mp3s that made up a total of one and a half hours. Then I plopped myself up comfortably on my pillow and started relaxing each part of my body, and soon enough I was in a trance. On my way home that evening, I had been having buzzing third eye chakra and my intuition told me something special was about to happen tonight...

It all started with crispy clean 3D images of random places and persons. The images usually last for 2-3 seconds in our notion of time. One instance was a psychedelic dome with shifting geometric shapes. Egyptian motifs and faces of pharaohs and mummy coffins were pretty common as well.

Then the energy started moving. The most noticeable one was my throat chakra. I never had it activated before. Then I started paying attention to my otherchakras and each one started bursting open. And I could very clearly make out all the different colours as well. I also felt other parts of my body activating energy points, like my legs, hands, etc. All around outside my body there was also a wave of aerodynamic energy that flowed strongly and continuously.

The next thing, I felt something like a 5 or 6 pronged clamp getting a hold of my face and head and drilling into it. At that point, the imagery shifted to lizard and snake like beings, and I could n't help but think of reptilian alien beings. The probing got progressively more powerful. It was accompanied by a very strong sinewy energy that seemed to move throughout my face, nose, eye balls and brain, without so much of a regard for my face structure. It felt as though my bones, veins, and muscles were being crushed. My teeth sank into each other. The right side of my face felt like shifting to the left and vice-versa. I also felt my head rotate in both directions very very slowly, as if going against a some gooey or tar like material.

As the imagery flowed and got more and more intense, I realised I had gotten to a place with a somewhat dark energy imprint. Feelings of fear came knocking, but I was still aware enough to tell myself that there was nothing to fear, that thiswas something I had been prepared for and had been waiting for. And I managed to convince myself to just observe everything and to let go and just be part of this experience. Next was the feeling of taking a fall, sinking to some place. After a while, I emerged into a place of light and beauty.

I then felt tremendous energy from underneath me, that seemed to lift me up. I would have liked to have a camera in my room to observe my body, quite clearly to me at this point, I felt that I was levitating. And I was using an inordinate amount of energy to propel myself up, while feeling the full force of gravity trying to press me back down. And then, I felt that I got up. Initially, it felt like my astral double standing up. After that came the moment of pure joy, as I saw my body in the purest light ever. The awareness at this point was of my real, immortal self! In Kundalini Yoga, we call it SAT NAM.

This was truly a blissful moment, of sheer ecstasy to become aware of our true self. It did feel like a very special moment, at which point I realised I was most probably having an out of body experience, and I started thinking of leaping into the air. But something was wrong. I could not let go of feeling my physical body, and then it felt that my physical body was also coming for the ride. Next, I found myself standing on my bed, being gently rocked by the energy inside of me and trying to find me bearings. It was really weird and funny, as my consciousness switched back and forth between the physical reality and the dimension I found myself in. A few times, I felt like throwing myself back and hit the wall. After that, I decided to lie back down before I fell of my bed or something.

In the next set of imagery, I had a phase of erotic images, love making that involved my own self with some other entities, as well as what looked like other very powerful beings frolicking among each other. I had a vision of a person that I know in real life. I was trying to reach out and talk to her, but she was running away, and she looked like she was trapped in fear. I wanted to try to calm her down but I could not reach her, and then she disappeared.

My body felt like jello at that point, and I could feel my body parts stretching and rotating of their own accord. The bone crushing sensation came back as well. It lasted for a while more, before I snapped out, and back into physical awareness. The first feeling that came onto me was one of sheer joy and ecstasy. It validated in vivid details what had been up till now mostly intuition and inner knowing, saved for a few minor glimpses. I then tried to go back to sleep into this feeling of euphoria. But this was just an intermission. Before going back to sleep, I noticed the mp3s had stopped playing. While I felt I had only been having this experience for about 30 minutes, more than one and a half hours had passed.

With my open naked eyes, I could see the auric field around my body, and felt truly beautiful. My body then got into a spontaneous V-Shape with my sit bone as the point of pivot. People familiar with yoga will recognise this as the boat pose. With the feelings of joy still fresh, I started laughing, felt my cheeks stretch out like forever, and then my vision became engulfed into some kind of sphere, and what I saw did not look at all like my room. I thought, that was really cool, as I was having the experience both with closed and now open eyes.

After a short while in that state, I lay back down on my bed, and went for another round of imagery and vibrating sensations, although they were a bit less intense than the first time. Before drifting off to sleep, I realised that my life could never be the same again. True enough, the next day, I was bathed in the joy of the experience for the entire day. Things fell in place nicely at work, we finished a job we had been struggling with. Most importantly, personal stuffs that had been bothering me lately seemed ever so trivial.

Now, I am left wondering about the meaning of that experience, and what I do about it. Life in the physical world compared to what I experienced all of a sudden seems so boring...

God, Consciousness and the Nature of Reality.

2008-01-05T12:44:00.000+08:00

I was having a couple of drinks with a friend at a pub last night. At some point, we started talking about God and spirituality. I observed that up till last year, I was looking for something - I did not know what it was - but I think now I have found it. What is that thing that I was looking for? Well, if we take a look at our current reality - at least the frequency that is accessible to most people, the picture seems pretty dim. War, poverty, diseases are staple of our reality diet. Or so it seems. At a micro level, for the "fortunate" among us, we grow up, go to school, get a job, get married, make babies, grow old, die and feed earth worms or vanish in flames.

If this is our sum total of our reality, then I am tempted to say, please kill me now. Last year was a year of epiphany - a gradual one. It was not the sudden mind and consciousness altering experience, but it was one that was tedious, involved a lot of deprogramming and finding the radio station that I felt comfortable tuning into. It brought me to a point where I could dance to my own tune, paint my own drawing on my canvas. Of course, there are finetunings still to be done, but it is almost the perfect learning experience.

Let us consider some really big questions. Who is God? Who am I? What am I doing here? Quite frankly, I don't know about you, but these were questions that kept me awake for countless nights. As a child, I was smart enough not to bug my parents about them. Either I could not fathom my friends deeply enough, but I could not find other kindred souls who shared that brand of curiosity. Maybe a lot did, but like myself, they all thought they are probably the only person to wonder about such things.

It has been an interesting ride really. It took me from orthodox religion to mysticism, meditation, yoga, quantum physics, creation of reality, among others. Going through this experience, either of 2 things could have happened. Either I am ripe to be cast into a straight jacket and put into an asylum or I reach a point of equilibrium, confidence and serenity from where I can dive further into such matters. I am happy to relate that it was not the former that took place. Unless my mind is fooling me and playing all kinds of tricks on my mind. But just bear with me, as I seek to share some elements of that journey.

So, seriously... Who is God? Here was my take on God as a child. Maybe it was yours too. Of course, you could also have taken the stance that God does not exist. But chances are as a kid, most of us adopt whatever happens to float our parents' boats. Which is fine and dandy until we get to the point that we start to feel out of sync with that tune. So, how about some high and mighty guy that sits in the sky - a place called heaven - that created earth - we are not too sure why - put animals, plants and a myriad of creations on its surface. Oh yea, now I remember why we are here on earth. The first lucky couple of creation messed up. They did the wrong thing by eating an apple from the wrong tree. That seriously pissed God off and he decided to cast them out of the heavenly garden onto our planet that was to be forever soaked in misery.

My first question is what does this have to do with me? Hey, they messed up. I did n't sign up for this. Get me out of here. But hang on, folks. Is this really what happened? I mean, does it make sense that we are paying for the "sins" of our first mother and father of creation? Please don't me wrong here. If that's what you feel inclined to believe. Sure, please carry on. But for some reason, this did not really quite fit in with me. So, not only were Adam and Eve cast out, but God was so angry that after the human race was downgraded to a puny existence on Earth, he would in all of his glorious omnipotence and omniscience, track each and every single one of our deeds and reward us or punish us accordingly. You know what, that sounds suspiciously familiar. Parents, anyone? Government, big brother, police, anyone? Media, anyone? We all know how reputations can be made and broken by the mighty manipulated media nowadays. And this whole contractual arrangement of reward and punishment became enshrined into what we know as religion, together with all the dualities of right and wrong, good and evil, heaven and hell, and so on.

I would like to point out here, that I don't think that religion was originally meant to be the controlling, intruding and punishing force that it has become today. It seems that Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, and so on, all belonged to some mystery schools that brought them the enlightenment that would help them spread the message they had to. It seems to me that across the entire earth, all the religions and beliefs of the world, inclusive of the paganism, shamanism, monotheism - let us not get hung up on labels here - all come from the same source and all had a mission to accomplish. One of the facets of that was to help humans remember who they really are, what is their nature, what is the nature of reality, and how they are connected to the fabric of consciousness. Somehow, along the way some of those religions were hijacked and overtaken by a bunch of bureaucratic zealots who sought to control the masses by instilling fear about God, and telling them how to live their lives. There is a lot of books and articles out there that tell about the history of how such corruption took place in favour of greed, political arrangements, control and power. Not very spiritual undertakings, I am sure.

All this does not mean that I am now an atheist. But I think I can relate to a much more magnificent, magnanimous and loving energy than the wrathful God, the powers that be are so intent on forcing down our throat. I came across a few books written by Michael Sharp that gave a very simple, concise and clear view of the nature of God and consciousness. It is a view that synchronizes with ancients wisdoms, such as Kabbalah, as well as new science in the form of Quantum Theory. We can call it whatever we want, but once again, I do not want to get lost in labels.

The basic idea posits that at first there is one single consciousness that sought to be known, expand and evolve through the energies of love, creation and manifestation. This single energy then split into two other entities, which means there were now three entities instead of just one. The two additional entities are actually reflections of the original consciousness and share all of its attributes. At this point, consciousness is able to have a fuller, more wholesome experience of its existence. But at some point, a limit is reached in that experience, and to overcome this, the two entities further split into another twelve. This might explain the significance of the number twelve in our collective consciousness. The 12 signs of the zodiac, the 12 disciples, the 12 knights of the round table, the 12 Gods of the Greek pantheon, and so on. Further suggestions are that they are the 12 archangels of creation.

But it did n't stop here. There were further levels of creations in thousands, then millions and then billions. And this is where we fit in. If we refer to each of these entities as a monad, then each one of us is a single monad - a single soul. We should not get confused with our physical body though. Through reincarnation, as a single monad, we have taken on countless lives in countless physical bodies. Before I go any further, I would like to stress that multiple levels of creation does not in any sense imply hierarchy, the way that our physical incarnations on this earth can so easily relate to.

Obviously, as billions of entities are created, they cannot just exist into a vacuum, that would not make much sense. They have to exist within "worlds" or dimensions. This is my own interpretation of this. It feels to me that a single dimension contain many worlds. What is a dimension then? Let us assume that at each successive level of creation, we also have a new dimension that is created. A dimension would simply be a collection of worlds and each one bears a unique energy density stamp and a time stamp that determines how long it takes for something to manifest in that dimension. The Kabbalak tree of life also delves into this.

Let us clarify a couple of concepts here before further elaboration. Let us look at energy density and manifestation speed. Energy density also implies vibration. The less dense the energy, the faster it vibrates. The denser the energy, the slower it vibrates. Examples I can think of are thick, black tar (dense energy - low vibration) and light or electricity (high vibration). Another law of creation that is increasingly being advocated in numerous circles is that what we think is what we create. Energy follows thought. I am not going to go into this right now, but let us just state that anything that manifests needs energy to do so. The higher the rate of vibration of the energy is, the faster it takes to manifest and create. The lower the rate of vibration of the energy is, the more time it takes to manifest and create.

So, there we have various dimensions in varying degrees of density and vibration. The God dimension, from where consciousness originates is the one with the highest vibration. Creations can be manifested most rapidly. The problem though is because it not dense enough, whatever is manifested does not last very long in that reality. On the other hand, our 3D universe, our earth happens to have the densest energy and the lowest vibration. Because of the dense energy, it takes longer for things to manifest, but they also tend to last.

Let us now take a brief look at history. Our species are said to have taken millions and hundreds of thousands of years of evolution to become the supposedly most intelligent being on earth. But then, over the last 10,000 years, something interesting happens. While it took us hundreds of thousands of years previously to get to a new level of evolution, all of a sudden, advanced civilizations start to appear on the surface on the planet, seemingly out of nowhere. This is an interesting conundrum, don't you think? Why this happened can certainly be examined in another article. But as we trace history further and closer to our own times, it seems to have taken us a mere few thousands years from inventing the wheel to sending man on the moon. There are a few different ways to interprete this fact, one of my perspective is that it is now taking us less time to manifest new creations.

If we go back to our principle of relationship between energy density and speed of manifestation, we could deduce that our dimension has been undergoing a rise in its vibration. And this is where the magic resides. If we could somehow get to a situation where we could create and manifest faster, but our creations happen to last as long as it used to, that would be quite an achievement indeed. There are definitely a lot more implications to this. And these have to do with our connection to consciousness, and our divine power as creators in multiple realities. As active agents in this process, we posit that this is one of the reasons why we incarnate on this earth. To help raise its vibration to another level.

But we have barely scratched the tip of the iceberg here. There are a lot more subjects that this whole conundrum involves. If we want to delve deeper, we have to revisit our concepts of time and space, the nature of our reality, other beings in other dimensions, and many more.

Before I end this article, if what I have written sounds like complete bollocks, that is fine. Please take care and be safe. If on the other hand, I have piqued your interest, I would love to hear what you think. For further information on this subject, please visit this web site. There are links to a couple of free e-books which you might want to pick up. There is also a forum for people to discuss their ideas.

Please be advised though that the rabbit hole can get pretty deep if this is something you are unfamiliar with, but somehow feel connected and drawn to. But from my experience, it can be a really fun and wild ride.

Cheers!
Fardin.

The Human Body Energy Centers

2007-12-30T14:21:00.001+08:00

Tarot Card Test

2007-11-01T16:36:00.000+08:00

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Welcome to the Mental Portal

2007-10-24T14:52:00.000+08:00

This is from Thesaurus.com.

Main Entry: portal.
Part of Speech: noun.
Definition: door, entrance.
Synonyms: doorway, gateway, opening, way in.

Main Entry: mental.
Part of Speech: adjective.
Defintion: mind.
Synonyms: brainy, intellectual, cerebral, mysterious, spiritual, thoughtful, unreal, subconscious...

Main Entry: mental.
Part of Speech: adjective.
Defintion: insane.
Synonyms: deranged, disturbed, loco, lunatic, mad, psychotic...

That's how we get the Mental Portal - mental or mental? The door is open...